The Worst Dates Ever

Everyone has that incredibly awkward, mortifying, or downright hilarious dating story. I'm working on compiling a collection of the worst dating stories ever. Share yours here in the ask box or at theworstdatesever(at)gmail(dot)com.

7. The date...that wasn't a date

This date brought to you by yours truly.

alldaycoffeebreak:

Let me preface this story by saying I have no problem having guys as friends. Aside from the select few girl friends I have that I love and adore I actually prefer guy friends a lot of the time. But boy did I mis-read this one.

So I have kind of been chatting with this guy from one of my classes…

(via alldaycoffeebreak-deactivated20)

6. Age is just a…no, you’re still too old.

"I have gone on a fair amount of online dates.  THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE.  So I was meeting up with this guy, Greg.  He was definitely cute from his picture and we had a lot of similar interests.  I told him I’d be the girl in the blue dress so he’d know how to find me when we got there.

After waiting for a few minutes this elderly man taps me on the shoulder and says, ‘Lucy?  Hi, I’m Greg.’  He was clearly nearing 80 years old.

Nearly choking from shock I squeaked out, ‘Umm…I think you lied about your age online.’

And he goes, ‘Well not technically, I was 28 in the picture I posted.’

So yeah, he had posted a picture of himself from 1963.”

- Lucy

5. The Girl Who Knew Too Much

"I was meeting up with this one girl I had just met and we were talking and stuff and it was fine.  But everything she was saying was a little weird.  Like she knew A LOT of stuff about me that I never told her.

I’d say, ‘What kind of music do you like?’ and she’d reply, ‘Coldplay, U2, Bon Jovi, Bruce Springsteen.’  This was literally word for word IN ORDER the bands that I like on my facebook.  Then, I asked her what she liked to do and she said, ‘Oh I like to coach youth basketball, rock climb, and blog about the Philadelphia Eagles.’ Again, literally WORD FOR WORD from my facebook.

Stalker status.  I left shortly after.”

- Brian

4. The Food Critic

"First date.  He ordered fried liver and onions.  Then he tried to kiss me at the end of the night.  Umm…NO!"

- L.

3. The Ruined Shoes

This story hails straight from my parents who have been married for more than 25 years.  Turns out love can conquer all - even a sour stomach.

Their first date was at Pizza Hut followed by a party at a friend’s house and A LOT of drinking.

Well, as my dad was leaning in for a goodnight kiss my mom screamed, “HOLD ON!” and proceeded to vomit all over his cowboy boots.  The boots were borrowed from his brother - so that was awkward returning them.

They went on a second date the next night.  That’s love people.

2. The Dirty Date

"I had just signed up with an online dating service and was getting ready to go on my first date.  I obsessed over what to wear and didn’t want to look too fancy or too casual for the date.  I didn’t know how this whole online dating thing worked and I was nervous.

Well, turns out I was WAY over-dressed compared to my date.

When he showed up he had literally just come from the gym and was dressed in gym shorts and a gray tank top with the words “These guns kill” and two arrows pointed at his arms.  To top it all off he had jogged to the restaurant from the gym and had visible sweat stains on his tank top!  GAG.”

- Amy

1. The date with the egomaniac

Kayla submitted her story, our very first worst date submission!

"I went on a blind date with this guy that was so into himself that he literally talked about himself for 33 minutes.  33 minutes!  That’s not even counting the time before I started the stopwatch on my phone.  Yes, I started a timer to see how long it took before he actually took a break in the conversation from talking about himself.  Ridiculous."

Can you top this story?  Submit your worst date stories in the ask box or at theworstdatesever(AT)gmail(DOT)com.

What was your worst date ever?

Share your story with me.  I’m working on a project that involves compiling the worst dating stories that I’m hoping to get published someday!  This is just a start to get the stories started and the laughs ignited :)  Be part of the comedy and a potential contributor to my final project.  All input and submissions are so very greatly appreciated.